Despite being a staple of rural legends and college dares, Cow Tipping is like trying to push over a parked SUV with bad intentions. Here’s the thing: cows don’t actually sleep standing up. For deep sleep, they lie down, so any “tippable” cow is wide awake and probably unimpressed by your late-night shenanigans.

Even if you did find a standing cow, good luck. The average cow weighs about 1,500 pounds and has incredible peripheral vision, meaning it can see you coming from nearly every angle. Plus, cows are naturally skittish. Sneaking up on one? Not likely. Shoving one over? Even less likely, as research shows it’d take at least four people exerting serious force to even have a chance.